Gunfist

Once again I am bringing light to the miserable CSI darkness with this useful character chart. Close examination will reveal why CSI: NY has a tendency to suck.

	CSI	CSI: Miami	CSI: NY
Main Man – the guy that sums up the show in a nutshell	Gil Grissom – focused on evidence, finding out what happened, bugs.	Horatio Caine – focused on justice, righting the wrongs, sunglasses.	Mack Taylor – He used to be a marine donchaknow.
Sassy female number two	Catherine Willows – Sassy, experienced, blonde.	Whatshername that quit in season 1 Yelena Calleigh Duquesne – Sassy, experienced, blonde.	Stella Bonasera – Deeply irritating.
The guy that represents the city	Warrick Brown – Vegas native, gambling problem.	Eric Delko – Cuban, diver.	Danny Messer – Really New Yoik, vaguely involved with gangsters.
The M.E.	Al Robbins – Crochety, limping	Alexx Woods – Insists on talking to dead bodies	Sheldon Hawkes Sid/That British Girl Mack Is Boffing -We like Sid, Peyton replaces Aiden’s pout quota.
The other one (possible kidnap/ shot threat)	Nick Stokes - A shadow of his mustachioed self (already been kidnapped) / Sara Sidle – boffing the boss, definitely kidnap potential / Greg Sanders – papa olaf would not be pleased if Greg was kidnapped.	Tim Speedle Ryan Wolfe – a.k.a. BizarroGreg, it’s justa matter of hoping he will be kidnapped at this point.	Aiden Burn Montana – unsubtle pregnancy, little chance of kidnap.
The Detective	Jim Brass – the nation demands more Brass episodes.	Frank Tripp – always entertains when using a computer. This, however, is necessary as HoCaine will not touch one (they resemble work).	Don Flack – Pretty New Yoik, but was better when he had a worse suit and greasier hair (this is approximately true of all the entire show).
Labrat	Greg Sanders David Hodges – Second best character in CSI.	Natalia Boa Vista – Not really a proper lab rat as a) she had a plot line and b) nothing happens in the CSI Miami lab other than internal affairs raiding it.	Adam Ross – anyway.

You may have caught my sly implication to that fact that no one on this list is the greatest CSI character. The name of that man? Archie Johnson:

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 15th, 2007 at 7:32 pm and is filed under TV, What. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. This post is tagged You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.