Undercrackers
“A nice sunny day full of promise and wonder, my boy. That is the gift of each dawn during a fine African summer such as this” explained Fullman, calling from 1.6 meters above his own feet. “Where is my cup of tea?”
“Given that we are in England, and it’s autumn, I think there are some flaws in your theory. Your tea is in your hand” replied Stennings, secretary to the head of the world’s third largest petrochemicals company.
“DAR-BLOODY-JEELING Stennings! This is pig vomit mixed with bile from anonymous residents of Tonbridge” said Fullman as he thumbed through an Argos catalogue, which he had demanded the previous day as part of an essential experiment. “We can’t expect the highest standards from people unless we give them something to aspire to. Towhit: the argos catalogue. Inside we can find the finest examples of the combined works of humanity over the span of its existence. For example, see these two necklaces?” asked Fullman, waving a page somewhere near Stennings’ aqualine nose. “They fit together to form a heart! Can there be a finer expression of the depths of human emotion than that! Or here, an alarm clock in the shape of a motorbike that makes a sound akin to the revving of an engine! Practical, AND attractive. The argos catalogue shows us how to live our lives, and many items offer free home delivery” concluded Fullman, his moustache rattling.
Stennings pondered. “I see, Sir, but what are your thoughts on Ring and Reserve?” asked the young man, while edging towards the door.
Fullman looked sadly into the distance. “It is the promise between us and them, Stennings. A trust that is too often broken. That’s how they got to Julia Sawalha don’t you know?”